After a long hiatus away (I have a full time job now, teaching; if you want to call it that)...I have come to many conclusions:

1. I am technically no longer "broke" (at least in the monetary sense of the word - though I wonder if monetary poverty has its benefits when compared to the soul-sucking, mind-numbing, passion massacre of not being able to grow or develop oneself intellectually or creatively on the job)
2. I am still disgusted (with HigerEd, with bureaucracy, with lazy students, with grade-grubbing students, with whiny students, excuse-laden students, essentially with every student that I am subjected to each day in the No-Mind's-Land of Remedial Writing!)
3. I am tired and uninspired
4. I am becoming a bitter professor {I mean the bitterest of the bitter kind -- like that professor of mine who once, on that first day of class, hurled this shining insult: "You all are the victims of educational malpractice! You don't know how to write, and I don't know how you even got admitted to this school!" Yeah that kind of bitter = ( }
5. I rarely ever engage both cortexes of my brain...no, seriously! This is a major problem in my life right now. I have heard that people with too little stimulation can actually die...or maybe that is what being brain dead means -- I am literally an English teacher zombie: going through the motions but not actually engaging with any stimulating thoughts, my students or my own. (I never thought I would long for the days when I was a student and my only job was to read, write and think about beautiful, complex, and interesting ideas) 

I know that much of this sounds like complaints. Many people would tell me to suck it up and be glad that I have a job to go to each day, but when did "just getting through things" become the hallmark of good career advice? I don't want to just get through my career, wishing away day after day, longing for the next holiday to get here so that I can enjoy it for a day and then slip right back into the fear of impending doom on the job and moving through the doldrums of one bad day after another.

I know that the illusive "good job" exists. In fact, my students talk about this mythological creature quite often. It is truly something to be envied - it can be attained by anyone at any educational level, comes with a $90,000 dollar salary, amazing benefits, a house and a luxury car - isn't that amazing?!

But, I really do believe that I can find a job that is a "good fit" for me personally; a job that (most days if not many days) allows me to feel inspired and worthwhile, not battered and defeated; a job that edifies me as I edify others; a job that ignites not extinguishes my passions and creativity; a job that challenges me as I challenge the status quo of society; a job that encourages intellectual curiosity and doesn't squelch a budding idea.

This job Mecca or Utopia is out there, and the largest lesson that I have learned in my short time in this position is that pursuing your job dreams or passions or happiness is the highest imperative because there is only one thing other than marriage that many of us will commit the largest portion of our lives to - a career!


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Reporting from the Trenches...

I'm feeling very unmotivated to complete my PhD applications today. I often find myself in the strange limbo space of action and inaction when it comes to my applications. The only thing that seems more oppressive than pouring out my soul to admissions officers, who are likely to flit through my application without spending any real time on it (and consideration of how much time I spent agonizing over the words I chose to use in each statement of purpose, teaching philosophy, or writing sample), is pouring out my thoughts to students on their papers -- mainly because they will treat my comments much like the admissions officers will (students rarely if ever read comments on papers)

To be brief...the motivation department closed early today and is likely to be on holiday until the end of the week!

~ Reporting from the Trenches...

Liked what you read? Of course you did! Then hit the little follow button It would make me so happy to see your face there. OR, just leave me a comment!

My Fellow Americans,

I don't mean to sound slutty, but please feel free to use me any time you want!

Sincerely,
Grammar


~ Reporting from the Trenches...


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Why Do I Bother...

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother...

How can we have such a great class one day, and, then no one turns in their homework or does what we spent a whole class working on?! I just don't get it. Where is the disconnect? Why do so many of the students seem clueless, lost and bewildered? I can't begin to figure it out...


Liked what you read? Of course you did! Then hit the little follow button It would make me so happy to see your face there. OR, just leave me a comment! Reporting from the Trenches...

Today, this is how I feel, except, I have a Master's Degree. 

MASTER's DEGREE? Yes,  Master's. 

I know what you are thinking: "You should be rolling in the dough"... But alas that is not the case.

While we are all told that education is "valuable," my meager paycheck says otherwise... Clearly education is an elaborate ruse to line someone's pockets, but the sure aren't mine!

However, my love for teaching draws me back each semester despite my frustrations...like a fly to honey

I guess MJ was right when he said: 

"You can win child, You can't break even, And you CAN'T Get out of the Game!"

Liked what you read? Of course you did! Then hit the little follow button It would make me so happy to see your face there. OR, just leave me a comment! Reporting from the Trenches...

So THIS is What Our Future Looks Like . . .

Whitney Houston once said (pre-crack): "I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way. . . "

OH, WHITNEY! Whitney, Whitney, Whitney. . .

SHE HAD NO CLUE WHAT TEACHERS/PROFESSORS DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, OR SHE MIGHT HAVE SAID IT DIFFERENTLY.

Children are our future - YES; But let them lead the way?  I think not! That is actually an erie thought.

My students scare me sometimes with the things that surface out of the SEA OF STUPID (a phrase I am officially borrowing from another SNARKY friend of mine) that is their minds.
They hardly want to learn, and that definitely disqualifies them from being leaders....(shudders at idea)

After a thrilling weekend of grading such underwhelming work and preparing for the week of classes ahead,  I can't help but wonder what our future holds if we produce such shining minds as this:

from iwastesomuchtime.com

This child (according to Whitney Houston) should be our leader. . . As an educator, this makes me laugh aaaannd think it might be time to relocate.  What do you think?


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Reporting from the Trenches...

NEW CLASS . . . NEW GROOVE!

So this new batch of students seems to really get my teaching style. One student even asked me if he could turn my name in for the "Best Teacher Ever" award. While this could have been a mixture of honest elation for my stellar teaching abilities or brown nosing at its best . . . . I prefer to believe this student truly meant the former.

There really is no other way to show how my students this session come across to me than to simply leave you with this image from "IWASTESOMUCHTIME.COM":

This is a piece entitled: "I FREAKING LOVE SCHOOL"

TRUST ME STUDENTS, EVEN FOR PROFESSORS, ENTHUSIASM NEVER GETS OLD.


Reporting from the Trenches...